Navigating the sweet and sour dynamics of long distance relationships

Living far from your sweetie can help deepen your sense of appreciation for each other. Anticipation for phone calls, texts, emails or visits is a little extra sweet. News you share may be extra intentional, creating opportunity for touch points on significant events. Having a husband who sometimes travels for work has helped me understand the special delights that come with missing your partner, thoughtful conversations, and ecstatic reunions. However, long distance relationships do have certain challenges:

• Not being able to celebrate all holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries in-person

• Many rain checks for evening or weekend dates

• Not having the comfort of your honey's physical presence at the end of a tough day or week

• Attending friend or family celebrations solo

• Less opportunities for your significant other to bond and build relationships and memories with your family and friends

• Schedule difficulties such as being able to text, call or facetime each other in real time, especially if you're in different time zones

• Lack of physical affection or sexual intimacy

• Extra costs of communication and travel to visit one another

The strain deepens if there are already challenges such as distrust, insecurity, jealousy, illness, etc. Don't fret - I've got you covered with some tips and ideas to add some cushioning to your long-distance commitment and create more security, connection, and joy...

• Carve regular time into your schedules for phone calls and/or FaceTime

• Send daily thoughtful texts (e.g. good morning/goodnight; photos of you and important events/people/pets; sharing good news, a meme, or a shared memory)

• Remember to acknowledge important events for your partner such as presentations, exams, doctor appointments, promotions, etc.

• Create daily or weekly journal prompts for each of you to write and then share with each other (e.g. What would be my ultimate vacation; What would make our relationship feel more exciting; Describe our first date...)

• Send random sexy, spicy texts or emails

• Send surprise gifts to show you're thinking of them (e.g. a handwritten letter, a photo, flowers, meal delivery, the latest gadget you know they've been wanting…)

• Watch a movie at the same time and text or FaceTime throughout (so you can still have simple dates together even when separated by distance)

• Regularly give compliments and words of appreciation

• Plan your next visit together, even if you can't yet flesh out all the details

A successful long-distance relationship is possible with some intention, creativity, trust, optimism, and effort. Planning what life will look like while living apart offers a chance to share expectations, worries, and solutions for staying connected. Wishing your romance happy travels!